Home
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
rage316

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

The End [Jun. 6th, 2006|12:34 am]
Rage stalked around the Elysium.

Smiling he saw a few Kindred filter in. Reports had been sketchy. All over the world Kindred had simply disappeared. There were only a few small pockets left. No great battle, no last stand, God had simply removed them. The last stand would not include Rage. Perhaps it would just test Eric.

That night be looked around and spoke as Eric. There seemed to be no more posturing as Rage. People asked what his story was rather then run from it he told them. The night how it began. Rizeal taking his wife killing her and his unborn child. Crucifying him to the wall the anger the Rage that borne his name. The years of looking for death and purpose.

Slowly each of them faded away. Each of them leaving the Elysium. Leaving money he provided for a ghoul who had been Dolla Bills. Through tears had asked what Eric's child was going to be named. "Alex" Eric whispered. She promised the name would like on.

At the mention of his name Eric thought of Alex. He would have been a young man now.

It was then he looked around and he was alone. The last man standing. It was fitting that perhaps this was his end. No large battle just to live out his sins, to be forever alone.

Closing his eyes he opened them slowly.

Surrounded by white there was Rizeal again. Smiling and peaceful.

"Not who you expected Eric?" Rizeal's voice did not mock.

"I never know what to expect Rizeal. What are you here for." Eric was tired, so tired.

"One more choice. One final decision." Rizeal paused for a moment. So many choices, so many decisions. Only 16 or so years a child by Kindred years, yet he had accomplished more than most Elders. His name had caused a mix of fear and awe. Some would call him a legend, others a monster. He was tired of choices.

"You have an option Tess is in purgatory, as is Emily. You can choose to ascend with one of them. the other is going to hell Eric, never to return to heaven." Rizeal documented the situation carefully again without malice.

Eric felt like going to his knees.
Emily his wife, his love, his soul.
Tess his sister, how he felt he failed to protect her innocence, and her life.
Now he had to choose.

For a moment he whispered he would choose to ascend with Emily.
Rizeal cocked an eyebrow.
Eric retracted it and thought. There were always other options.
Could he choose to go to hell and send the two of them to heaven?
He asked Rizeal slowly Rizeal nodded yes.

Why Eric thought the anger siezing him.
What have I done to deserve this.
All I ever wanted was to see Emily again.
All I tried to do was keep Tess from falling to her Beast.
Now he had to give up what his hearts desire was to make things right.
He almost told Rizeal he was leaving with Emily.
Then he felt the small statue in his pocket.
He felt the ring around his neck.

He could not be the man that Emily fell in love with if he made any other choice.
Pulling out the statue Eric looked at it.
It radiated pure belief.
It was him and Thessaly talking after the death of Fynn.

Choking back the tears Eric asked Rizeal a favor.
"Can you give this to Tess and tell her, she was right to have that belief."
Rizeal nodded and took the statue.
"Ok Big Man, where's the elevator down." Eric fought back tears.
Fuck it Eric thought if I'm goin to hell I'm gonna save the both of them then that will be Heaven enough for me.

"Close your eyes Eric and take my hand" Rizeal's voice was soft.

Eric braced accepting his fate.
A man who's reputation was based in death had lived, died, and chosen for love.
Smiling awaiting the flames he let two thoughts sustain him.
"I love you Emily."
"I love you Tess."

However the flames did not come.
Instead of Rizeal's hand in his it was now the hand of a young man.
Opening his eyes he saw her, in his hand was Alex's.

"Let's go home Dad. Mom's waiting"
linkpost comment

I will [Nov. 25th, 2004|11:01 am]
Be posting the end here in the next week or so. ANyone who wants to see how 'ol Eric Riggs' story aka Rage plays out stay tuned.
linkpost comment

Faith & Sacrifice [Oct. 1st, 2004|02:20 am]
The white light continues. It is soft and peaceful and warm.
It slowly begins to take shapes white on white like moving through clouds.
I hear a familiar female voice that I can't quite place say just one word "Eric"

I feel all my angst, anger, and frustration melt away.
I have not felt this way since Emily last fell asleep in my arms.
Since I last heard her say "I love you."
Since the last time I was able to look into her eyes and kiss her.

Slowly in the distance I see a silhouette.
Nothing I can determine yet, just a being in flowing white robes.
Again I hear the voice. I can't determine who it is.
I can't place it and it is frustrating me like an itch that can't be reached.
Again a female voice and only one word "Eric"

The silhouette moves forward and I can see the robes but the face is obscured by a brilliant light.
I finally place the voice I have waited to hear for so many years.
It is the voice of an Angel. My Angel. My Emily. "Eric"
And as the voice fades the face comes into view.

It is Rizeal. The man who ripped my unborn child from my wife's womb. The man who tortured and killed my wife in front of me while I was crucified on my living room wall. The monster who tried to create me in his own image. The monster who's hearts blood tried to tempt me to swallow his soul. It was on that night I stopped myself and sent Rizeal to his reward. It was Eric who won that night and not Rage.

I feel no need to do violence here. Violence does not belong here.

I smile "This is the last place I figured we would run into each other again"
He returns the smile. "Same as I. It is surprising who is able to find Redemption. I know I am not who you expected to see here. Emily is not here."

My mind begins to swim. I have been to Hell and I know we are not there. I assumed it was Heaven, but Emily was the most sincere, genuine and beautiful both inside and out person I had very met. If she was not here....

"Where is she?" the question springs from my mouth as it forms in my head.

I see something in my Sire's eyes I have never seen before as he answers. Compassion.
"She is not in pain, but she is in a place where she just knows that time.....passes. And you now have a choice to make. You can choose to ascend with me and leave Emily where she is. Or you can choose to ascend with Emily, and return me to Earth as I was."

The choice hits me harder and cuts me deeper than anything else has before.
The questions come rapid fire.

"Why is she there?" I ask.
"God put her there." Rizeal answers.
"Will she be able to find her way out of where she is?" I ask.
"I don't know" Rizeal answers.
"Can I choose to let her and you ascend and stay in her place?" I ask
"No, only the choice you were given." Rizeal answers.
"Will it be the Rizeal who was out of control or the one who created me?" I ask.
"I will be as I was when I created you." Rizeal answers. At this he looks down. He is frightened. He does not want to go back to what he was.

And what he was...was one of the most dangerous beings on the Earth. The only reason I defeated him was that he lost control. When he created me his faculties were still there. Even out of control he was difficult to stop. I would be sending a Demon back to Earth without me there to stop him.

But I am given my chance to see Emily again.
What I have wanted more than anything else since cursed to the darkness.
What I would have given almost anything for. Perhaps even my soul.
That is when the two words come to me like a divine Revelation.

Faith and Sacrifice.

Faith that God is benevolent and would not separate Emily and I forever.
Sacrifice that I would give up what I want most to stop the evil that was Rizeal from going back to torture and kill others.

Faith that doing what is right will not damn who I love the most.
Sacrifice of feeling her in my arms again right now or perhaps forever.

Faith that Emily will find the strength to find me like I was able to find her.
Sacrifice of not being able to save her yet again.

I look at Rizeal for a second.
Then I answer. "There is no way I am letting you back on Earth without me being there to stop you. I won't damn someone else to the life that I have led. I just have to have Faith that Emily will find her way back to me. Like she has had Faith that I would find my way back to her."

I didn't work to hold back the darkness all these years to give into it now.
Rizeal and I begin to ascend into the light, it begins to consume us until it is all that is left.

I awake in my bed with Emily's ring on my chest. I had lost it years ago.
I stumble to the mirror. The floor is cold to my touch. I can almost feel my heart beat.
I look into the mirror.
I see Eric Riggs and not Rage stare back.
I slowly turn my head to the right.
And see even the scars are gone.
For so long I held back the darkness for others at the cost of my soul.
Now the darkness has been pushed back from that as well.
linkpost comment

OOC [Sep. 30th, 2004|11:19 am]
Stay tuned........
Good 'ol Eric Rigg's story isn't over quite yet.
(Sorry I was bein' a bastard for a while adding to the speculation.)
Thanks for all the comments and concern.
link3 comments|post comment

Transformations [Sep. 29th, 2004|12:07 pm]
It has taken the better part of the last month and a half but the slaughterhouse is finally rebuilt.
I was getting worried as with the chaos around me I would be forced to begin hunting on a more regular basis and given my temperament now I am not sure how I would treat my...usual prey. With the world falling down around us I don't think criminals would see my better side.

I notice the temperature drop several degrees as I enter. Things seem weird the hair stands on the back of my neck. And suddenly the world begins to slow. I have had time slow before in combat, but never like this before it occurs suddenly I see everything with an incredible clarity.

Out steps a man or being. Black slicked back hair, reflective sunglasses, black pants and coat.
Another contender.
Someone else wanting their shot at the title.
I begin to take a combat stance.
Ready to hear his reasons for wanting me dead when....

The first shot hits me like a sledgehammer.
Except harder.
I have fought Elders before but nothing like this.
I call upon my reserves of resistance and draw the stakes I always have with me.
The claws slide down and I flail at the being.

It is over.
I feel it before I have lost.
I'm not giving up but I know this outcome.
I am pulling every trick out of the book.
My Presence is useless and when I hit this being it is like hitting steel.
He cages my Beast like it is a puppy.
And he is too fast to run from.

The final blow falls. I am sorry. I wasn't strong enough to stop the end.
The Fallen are free and I have failed.
The Giovanni are going to complete their ritual.
The Abyss and Lasombra will do battle and people will suffer.
There will be no peace between humanity and Kindred.
All because I was not strong enough or smart enough to stop it.
I feel it and then see it as if removed from my body.
The last images on earth I see are this stranger removing the head from my body and 20 so years of decay hit at once.
Then everything goes white.
link13 comments|post comment

Demons [Sep. 26th, 2004|01:18 am]
I awaken the blue light has faded, and I see it above Bethesda Hospital.
Half of a Demon. Fellow Kindred stand in awe. Cleric reacts shooting at it attempting to stop it.
Mikeal is awed. I feel the fear around me, but the difference is I feel it myself as well.
I am back. The monster has not taken over.
I think quickly. I can't reach it on my own. I know I can't let it get away.
I ask Alejandro to send me to it. D'Lescuro through strength and shadow propels me to the Demon.
I feel part of my soul wrench away.
I feel pain I have not felt since being crucified on the wall of my living room and seeing Emily dismembered in front of me.

I reach out not wanting to give up...not wanting to give in. Fighting on to the end.
I fall short of the Demon and he disappears in a blur.

D'Lescuro and Mikeal talk. The speak of choices and change and vanish. I ask Alejandro to call me when they are done. Worry sets in, but D'Lescuro is wise beyond his years and those years are considerable.

I return to the gathering. There is much work to be done. Again I have returned from the beyond. Again I am at the precipice of death, but in the words of one more eloquent than I there are miles to go before I sleep and I have promises to keep.

And a world to save.
link1 comment|post comment

Returns [Sep. 21st, 2004|12:43 am]
I stride into the room. I see the fear in their eyes. I smell it coming from them.

Is it the glint in my eyes, the casual smile I bear now? I even walk easier as if the weight of the world has been lifted. I feel not the burden of my guilt. Some shy away other keep people from nearing me. ALejandro D'Lescuro tells me my guilt was what made me me. He clings to his delusions. It appears that Skylark has begun to lose some of hers. I rob Castillo of his telling him that Vincent is not who he thinks he is and that he will be destroyed shortly.

They speak of Bethesda hospital. I will be sure to be there. They speak of Mikeal and his death. I will be a part of this. He attacked me once, before this change I will show him the error of his ways.

The rooftop. I see him there. I rush forward to teach Mikeal his lesson. He deflects my blow and throws me backward. Alejandro commands the shadows to stop my flight. I rush forward as Mikeal steps into darkness. I run through the darkness and face him. He attempts to exert his will upon me but is unable to of course his body nor his mind is a match for what I have become.

I reach out to feel his flesh rend beneath my talons and then there is darkness...
and a blue light.
link1 comment|post comment

Changes [Sep. 15th, 2004|11:50 pm]
I await in the woods. I have been here every night for 3 days. The blood I have brought with me is depleted. I will have to begin summoning animals soon.

I await patiently. At least as patient as I can be. I play with the ravens I hear his footsteps before I see him.

It appears to be DeWinter. I brace myself to move into action again I feel the pangs of guilt as I am about to use violence and evil to battle a greater evil again.

Then like the tension in my muscles it all fades. Instead of blurring into action I stop. DeWinter walks away and I let him. He is insignificant. I can kill him whenever I wish. I can kill any of them. I am the darkness that they fear.

The guilt I have held for years old and new slides off of me. Emily, Morpheus, Fynn, Malachi, Batista, St. John, Caldonia, Moses, Tess, Cole, Jet Fan, M, Jake the endless list all of their deaths was necessary to bring me to this point. I am the evil that evil fears and I am at peace with this. I feel a power coursing through me that I have never felt before. I feel a sense of balance. The shackles that were my humanity have faded away. I am walking death. I am evil incarnate. I am the sword that will bring the demonic, the evil and the cursed to dark justice. These thoughts that had plagued me that have haunted me now bring a smile to my face. The Alpha wolf is in the woods. It is time for him to walk among the sheep.

I get into my truck and begin the drive to NY City.
link5 comments|post comment

Hometown [Sep. 2nd, 2004|05:29 pm]
You can never go home again. That is the old saying. I am reminded of it whenever I enter the domain of CT. It isn't my hometown, but it is close, and it has never been more different since Tess has died.

So many things are happening so fast. Information is coming at me furiously. So many threats so much danger and so many guilty that need to be judged. I am not a detective nor a scholar. I am a judge. I do not need nor desire to reference the bible or Milton. I want the guilty to be reveled and for me to met out their judgment. It is that simple.

The Fallen or earthbound want to destroy humanity. I just need to told how I stop them and send them to their judgment. The Giovanni wish to end the world. If it is true I will judge them as well. All of these plots and threats mount as my time is distracted with a litany of bullshit.

Politics are closing in fools rant on about the Camarilla or Hardenstadt and his policies. Meanwhile the world and all its innocents are threatened.

The Lasombra elder Alyssa approaches me about Lasombra anti-tribu and Lasmobra from the Sabbat joining to fight Lasombra himself who wishes to steal their souls. I grow tired of the conversation the innuendo. I tell her right now I don't care if the entirety of the Sabbat decides to join the Camarilla or if the Lasombra decide to join the Sabbat if the end result is they stop Lasombra from ending the world great. That is what matters. Why can't everyone else see that there are more problems than politics right now dammit. For some reason she leaves seeming pleased.

My anger which had been so subdued is near the surface. When I enter the room to see the moron that requested a meeting being questioned and hear him say "Blow the Chips" I react quickly and decisively trying to stop him. He wishes to do violence then he will be the first on this night to receive Judgment.

Then they begin to get in the way. Jake, Tyler. They obviously have no idea what they are dealing with. The human is incapacitated. I rant at them both. My anger is palatable. How dare they interfere with the judgment I hand down. I wasn't going to kill this petty fool who was trying to kill Kindred because of God knows why. I was looking to stop him. To question him then if necessary judge him. I am tired of being questioned and my anger lashes out.

The explosion in the adjacent room bears me to be correct. I leave Tyler and Jake with the mortal to hand out his judgement. Let it be their punishment to deal with the being they protected as he did violence onto others.

I see Alejandro covered in blood. I ask how I can help.
He asks me to kill Vincent DeWinter.
My old friend and former Seneshal returned from the grave.
It is not him Alejandro asserts Vincent would never hurt his wife like this thing did. It is an affront to God. I know that it is hurting my friends. It isn't Vincent. It is time for me to be able to act finally.

I leave and head North.
I want to be away from distractions. Time to end this threat.

Time For Judgment.
link1 comment|post comment

Rescues & Failures [Aug. 24th, 2004|08:49 pm]
The stench of the sewer is overpowering. The assembled Kindred are waiting, discussing and wasting time. After a short time after Paige, Cleric and myself arrive action begins we are trying to make it to Jake before they kill him. I know he is on the move thanks to Petronis. We are set on our path. Skylark notices a trap saving us some pain and suffering. I still don't like having her here. This is going to get messy. I would have avoided Paige being here too, but I think I have come to an understanding with her. She craves acceptance and this is how she can get it. Also if she dies she is re-untied with her Sisters. The parallel is frightening.

The room opens to an antechamber and they attack. Dozens of them. The dregs of society. Prostitutes, drug dealers, street people.

All crazed for blood, our blood.
My beast has been writhing in my stomach all night. Craving a release, wanting me to be the monster.

I indulge its wants and needs here.

This is mercy to these beings, but my beast is just glad to be slacked in blood.

Sword and claw dig deep into my enemies, into the Sabbat. The death toll rises around me and I feel the smile creep unto my lips.

One of the Sabbat sinks their fangs into me, my smile widens the pain focuses me. My body feels like there is too much blood in it, it craves the loss to bleed to cause death. The monster in me is enjoying this.

When it is over the focus of saving Jake returns. I look around, people have changed. Innocents is lost. I want to try and reach out to Skylark. But I know like so many others it will fall on deaf ears. I see Cleric, physically untouched, but his face belies the fact that part of him that came back in his sleep died on this night. Petronis has unleashed the power of an elder that I knew he possessed, but hid during these years. Paige has learned her lessons well, her anger has kept her whole. I hope she is able to keep her darkness and Beast at bay. Zorn and Koyla have survived, barely. Sandalphon his alabaster skin radiant in the darkness is the only one seemingly unchanged in any way.

The Beast cannot be avoided and I cannot save them. I tried with Tess, Alejandro Castillo, Alejandro D'Lescuro, Paige, Skylark. They never listen. They want to help and their souls are the cost. I can try and keep the darkness back and not involve them, but we are beings of violence, maybe in trying to help I am doing them a disservice.

Jake has been returned to the gathering it is strange to say the least. We return to the gathering to see that he is whole, but not unchanged. However rather than being a monster he is different, more whole. D'Lescuro is there, Myself, Cleric, and Jake retire to talk about changes.

Jake has changed. He believes he is an Angel, from his memories it seems to be true. I in part envy him. God has shown him direction, given him the keys to his existence shown him in an irrefutable way his path. I have questions, but gunfire distracts me. A man is being attacked outside. D'Lescuro tells me it is Mickeal and he should not be harmed. I blur into motion. I defend him and stare down the court. I have no idea I will later regret this act.

D'Lescuro and Mickeal retire to talk after my interference. Shortly thereafter I am informed of the folly of my decision. Alejandro tells me he is the Monster that the court was accusing him of. He will rip the newfound humanity from his Wife, and try and use Alejandro to destroy New York. My friend asks me to stop this Monster. I agree without hesitation.

I stride into the gathering. Center myself on Mickeal.

"You done tugged on Superman's cape Motherfucker, and your Beast is caged." I extend the ferocity of the Beast, the demon that resides within me, to cow this monster before me, and he shrugs it off. He runs as I try to attack.

The next moments are hard to remember. We follow him and he attempts to disappear. Cleric calls him out and Mikeal appears and Cleric drops. The man that has been my Father in the darkness helpless before this Demon that draped himself as an Angel. My Beast flashes again for the second time this night. He wants his vengeance he wishes to protect Cleric. I have had enough of fighting him tonight. I ride this wave of frenzy as it takes me into combat with Mickeal.

My claws shatter, I flail against this rock.

Pain deep within my brain like a cancer deep inside me.

I force it out striking with my sword.

Darkness surrounds me. Hit him hurt him kill him destroy this threat.

Drink his blood break his bones crush his spine.

The pain blinding pain like acid in my skull.

I awake surrounded by Kindred. "Did we get him I ask?" I know the answer. No he got away. I have fallen in combat. I don't know when the last time that this has happened. Years have passed since I have known defeat. I will not accept it.

Alejandro leaves for Lana. I tell him I will do what I can to stop Mickeal.

I return to the gathering. I deal with asinine politics and attempt to remove the Sabbat. I send home Paige and Cleric.

I know my strategy is dangerous if Mickeal is able to catch up with me. But I have to try and save Lana and Alejandro. I can take the risk.

I call him with the strength of my personality. I try throughout my drive. I drive away from Paige and Cleric. Taking the danger I hope with me.

He appears beside me. I strike out to no avail. He gloats that I have failed. that my part will still be played. And he disappears. I have failed twice tonight.

But Mickeal has made some mistakes. He has attacked those I cared about. He had the chance to finish me and did not.

And he has made me angry.
link4 comments|post comment

Old School [Aug. 17th, 2004|01:27 pm]
I arrive in NY. I breath the city in. It is the site of some of my greatest accomplishments. It relaxes me. I walk into the gathering with Paige. In moments I am annoyed. SOmeone mentions killing the President if the United States, then I hear that Crane is in a meeting with the Sabbat. When will these fuckers who took over NY form Alejandro learn you do not talk with the fucking sabbat!

I walk into the room and I feel the tension rise. They speak of treaties and I try and remind them of Padre Santiago and Vincent DeWinter and of those failed treaties. To no avail.

Then after the meeting ends in comes Menelaus who I know to be a powerful Elder. Here is where Crane decides to show a spine and muscles up. I try and warn him to play ball through mental communication, but Menelaus is able to hear that as well. Finally Crane decides to stop being stubborn.

Fuck me and this entire non-acting reporting job. I should advise and not order Princes. Doing the right thing was a fuckload easier when I wasn't an Archon.

Speaking of which. I pull aside Menelaus. I ask him about the Giovanni. He seems shocked. I smile to myself. I can still crack an elders mask of complete control by being me. He says that their plan to end the world is a possibility and I shouldn't try and take on Augustus on my own. So he focuses me on ending the ritual by removing a component part ie Joesph Giaovanni. He states he wishes to help. Hopefully he isn't gonna fuck me.

The night progresses. Some shithead Sabbat Rapheal states that unless Alejandro or Padre and Lana Alejandro's wife are delivered to him he will go public tomorrow and break the Masqurade even further.

FUCK THIS. I AM DONE NOT ACTING. I AM DONE BEING FORCED TO REACT. I AM DONE WITH THIS FUCKING NON-INTERFERING BULLSHIT. I AM GONNA DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

I hear about a fallen angel under NY that is coming I dispatch Iggy to investigate how to stop it. I pull Castillo aside and try to illustrate that he should be a goddamn singer and not a goddamn thug like me. Finally I decide to rid the city of this mother fucking Rapheal, as well as protect Alejandro and Lana.

I gather up some troops. Siade a friend of my sire offers to help, as does Menelaus, Padre Santos, Iggy, Devan, Enzo, and Scary V who manages to drag Paige into this who I have been trying to avoid getting into a fight.

I summon Rapheal and it is over quickly. Threat removed. Bullshit part one over. Crane had asked for a phone call he is getting Sabbat bodies instead. I have people checking on the Fallen in NY. I intend to talk to Enigma about it as well. I have a potential ally in the struggle against the Giovanni.

I feel better than I have in weeks. I have more problems to face, but that will keep me busy. For the first time since I took this Goddamn job I know again why I was left on this earth. There are evil things in the night. Monsters that terrify the innocent. Monsters that would feed on the pure.

Fuck the goddamn writ. I ain't sittin back and reacting anymore. I am taking the fight to who it needs to be takin to. Those things that think the darkness will keep them safe and aid them are mistaken. The writ in my pocket has kept me in check. And although my actions might kill me let notice be served.

Rage has returned.
link2 comments|post comment

Endings [Aug. 13th, 2004|02:52 am]
I have such hopes for this gathering in CT.
Both Ink and Richard will be in attendance. I may be able to forward the agenda I have planned more easily than I had hoped. A chance to heal the Camarilla. A chance to bring about positive change. A chance to stop the flow of madness.

It began oddly enough. Helping to teach Skylark. A poor child embraced by a monster. One who scarred her soul and her mind. I hope I can provide her with a measure of strength to undo what has been done.

Then I brought Richard and Ink for my meeting, my proposal to reform the Camarilla in the Northeast. And like most of my noble plans, my attempts to build. It was defeated by violence. Jake and M appeared and the battle was joined. M using his strength threw me away from Ink and Jake attempted to use his Blood Magic on me. I barely stay the course. M closes on Ink. I have to think quickly and react. I focus the power of my personality to avoid further attack. Sandelphon, Richard and Nathaniel are powerless against Jake's attacks.

I can almost hear God's voice in my head.

"You are no architect Eric. You are my Judge. You are my dark vengeance for the demons that cross your path. When you attempt to build see what happens. Hear Ink's screams as M attacks her. Now be MY VENGEANCE"

I close on Jake. My former friend and ally. He attempts to use his mind to overwhelm mine. He fails. My claws dig deep. I activate my speed taking him out of the room. My claws dig deep. I scream to M "I will kill Jake if you do not end this now!!!" I know it is my only chance to save Ink. I know they were friends, some would have considered them lovers. M chuckles and responds, "Too bad you can't keep me from killing her Rage." I hope against hope Sandelphon and Richard can delay him until the battle with Jake is done.

The fight with Jake devolves quickly to an animalistic brawl. Claws, fangs, fire, I feel my Beast want to run as fire courses across my skin. I keep a hold of Jake as my reason and will struggle against the Beast. When the fear passes I put Jake down.

I try again to stop M using the threat of Jake's death. To no avail. M runs toward me. I punch him back to the crowd. He is beaten to torpor. Nathaniel kills Jake. I feel the beast stir but the Ventrue watched his grandchilde die. He has the right to retribution.

M is torpored soon to be dead, Jake is dead. Ink is dead. I have failed yet again.
Never the architect. Never the healer like my Father. Never the Father I wanted to be. Never anything other than the Sword. Vengeance and Death are what I am good at. Always have been. God's Wrath on the wicked and Evil.

And another waits to call upon me. Doc Holiday. He wishes his showdown. I meet him in the streets of the city. We face each other down. He asks if I have forgotten about my dead wife. I respond I have not. I tell him this is his fight. If he wishes begin it.
To my surprise he walks away.

Patronis takes the Princedom. The rest of the night passes in a blur. I should never have thought I could create. I can barely protect. I am what God created.
I am death.
I am the monster that the monsters fear.
I will attempt to be the Shepard.
I fear however that I will remain the Sword.
link5 comments|post comment

Divine Intervention [Jul. 27th, 2004|11:08 pm]
Boston....an old city. I will always see it as a broken city.
Pierston was killed here by a group I led after his destruction of Morpheus.
Maxx Saint and I held our silent jyhad against each other until Samantha's death where we found some peace.
I shouted Maris down here...for the first time. Before eventually torporing him.
I was named Warlord here, then dismissed as the Sabbat left.
And for some reason I am drawn back here again.

The night begins poorly. Prince Stewart is captured by the Sabbat.
Then a man shows up claiming to be Sabbat and stating he is going to kill everyone in the Democratic National Convention. I try to stop him with a stake to the chest.
It fails. I stop myself. I am an Archon now, I am supposed to leave this to the local authorities. I inform the newly coroneted Prince Graham.
He flaunts his new Praxis and this annoys me. The beast in my belly calls for his blood. Jake is captured and he walks around gesturing pompously. I leave the room before I do violence to him.

Alejandro D'Lescuro awaits outside. It is good to see my old friend. We talk about the times that surround us. Rumors of Antedeluvians, the end of times, the potential fall of the Camarilla. The forming of something else by chance. If nothing else it is good to see Alejandro as I remember him. More kind and human than the man that had taken Praxis of NY.

Prince Graham sends people to intercept the Sabbat at the convention. He is obviously a complete moron. I begin to monitor the news and decide how I will fix this eventual fuck up.

Time passes and then the news begins to hit, then stops with as quickly.
Rumors of a gigantic angel begin to surface.
Alejandro and I go to investigate.

When we arrive there is a witness to the events. Alejandro and I enter his mind.
There I see an answer I have sought since my trip to hell.
Yes, I have been to hell in pursuit of a demon worshiper.
There I witnessed the fact that there is something past this life.
For years I sought out evidence of the divine.
In the eyes of this man I finally found it.

I have felt faith so powerful that it can hurt me and drive me back.
The image that I took from this man's mind was not faith. but rather what faith comes from pure divinity. This angelic form telling the vampires that the mortal were no longer theirs. The fallen Morning Star in his glory as one who stood by the Divine.

Alejandro asks what more I need. I know now that I must change my methods. The Camarilla is not working and I intend to fix it. It will remember to be shepard's to protect the mortals.

On the way back ALejandro and I sit in silence, both of us contemplating what we have seen. The in the limo appears Enigma. Some have called him Lucifer. He asks us what we think of what we have seen. Alejandro speaks, I just think.
The hundreds I have killed. Those I have done violence to.
Could I have avoided some of those.
I know my vengeance was not God's will, but my pride.
I have killed many for vengeance.
I think of how many I have killed to protect the innocent.
Then I hear Enigma's words as if he reads my thoughts
"Protecting the mortals, yes that is a noble cause."

Enigma leaves and Alejandro and I talk again. This time it is about sacrifice. The sacrifice that Lucifer made for humanity. At least through Enigma's words.
The sacrifice that God let the first among his angels make.
The sacrifice that God made to the mortal world giving them his only son.

I think on this. The sacrifices that others have made.
Alejandro drops me off. I travel home and drop Paige off.
Cleric calls me later and informs me that he is alright and I plan to rescue Jake failed. I tell him we can try again later, and then I go home.

I walk in shedding my weapons. I draw out my photo of her.
She is still the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
Emily, my wife, my love, my soul.
I may never see her again. I feel the pain deep in my heart.

My sacrifice. I realize that I have been left here to try and set things right.
I hope that I will still be re-united with her and our child one day.
If not I realize that I will have fulfilled my part in His plan.
It all comes down to sacrifice.
link3 comments|post comment

Last goodbye [Jul. 19th, 2004|11:53 pm]
I had a brief meeting with Koval before leaving DC.
It appears that the clan Tremere had found a way to release tess from the demons hold. Checking his aura seemed to revel that he was telling the truth. I hope he was correct.

The road home was long and silent. I thought often about how I could have stopped it. Why I wasn't there. What I missed, what I could have done, how I could have saved her. I always knew if it happened it would happen when I wasn't there.

But to be honest I always figured I would be the first to go.
Instead I am the last of the old guard. Most of the Kindred in the Northeast don't remember the lean times. When the Northeast was the wild west, Sabbat country.
I remember Tess calling me an idiot every time I went into battle, predicting death or failure. Somehow we always beat the odds together.

Finally the odds were too much. For her. I wonder when my time will come. I hope that in the darkness her and Fynn are able to find one and other.

I arrive home. The next nights darkness brings Christian. Just seeing him rims my eyes in red. He knows what has happened. I can almost feel his pain. He says he is staying with Petronis. He has a package for me. He lets me know that Tess wanted me to have a few things and to meet with Petronis later. He also has a letter. I tell him we will speak again soon and he leaves. Sad but business like he returns to Petronis.

I open it and read:

Eric,

I will not begin this the way you might expect; if you are reading this the reason for it is likely quite clear by now. I hope you can forgive the clumsiness of this message; there are things I did not wish to leave unsaid simply due to circumstance.

Of the people with whom I surround myself, you are among those I have known the longest. Over the time in which we have known each other we have each faced things for which we could never have been prepared. We have both changed – perhaps more than we care to admit. Regardless, I have never doubted that I could count on you when it was most vital. In the mess that is often relations among our kind, a soul you can trust is no small treasure. I fear this is a thing for which I have never been able to offer proper recompense. I can only hope that you will accept my sincere thanks as a fraction of payment for that debt.

Yours is not a mind easily corrupted. In fact I have often boggled at the unwavering faith you have shown even in the most dire of circumstance. Somehow, when faced with a world that seems to grow more horrifying by the night, you have been able to maintain your devotion to purpose and have never grown despondent. I envy you that. And I pray you never lose it.

There is one last favor I will ask of you; I hope you will not mind. Christian (whom you well know and who has delivered this message to you) is by far older than I – I took on his care, diligent service and friendship when Fynn left us. He will need a new benefactor now, and given the fact of his origin I think it most appropriate that he come to you. I think you will find him both an efficient employee and a devoted friend. Please look after him. I fear this second loss will weigh heavily upon him. Also, at one of the houses Fynn left me, you will find a room in which I have stored the entirety of Fynn’s arsenal. Christian can help you gather these things. I think they are best left in your capable hands, where they will be used to the right ends.

I will not ask for a place in your memory. But should I find my way there anyway, please know that I always considered you among my closest and most trusted friends, and that your every kindness was appreciated more than you may know. I can only hope that my memory will not be one that disappoints over time. If there is somewhere that I have gone, know that I will remember you, and that I shall do so fondly. My only regret will be having never had the chance to repay your protection, devotion, and friendship.

Please continue to fight as you always have. Allow nothing to destroy you.

Goodbye,
Tess

I am crying now. I make sure the red drops don't hit the paper. The loss hits me again like a punch in the stomach. I open the package. It is a statue of Tess and myself talking after the death of Fynn.
It radiates Pure Belief.
I cradle it and collapse to my knees.
I wish I could have been there could have stopped it.
The only solace I have in this night is the fact this letter and this statue means one thing.
I never lost her fully.
Beneath the madness that seemed to overtake her and the darkness that almost consumed her there was still some of the innocent red headed neonate left inside the fearsome Prince Tess Parker.
The Tess I loved as a little sister.
Two souls different, but not so different cursed to the darkness for separate reasons and on separate paths. We crossed and I tried to protect her as best I could not only from the darkness that consumes our souls, but from the physical dangers the night has as well. While I failed against the monsters lurking in the night. I might have won at least keeping part of her soul alive.
The darkness has claimed another I love.
I get off of my knees and wipe away the tears that have streamed down my face.
The darkness is rising.
I don't know how much longer I will be able to, but while I walk this earth I will fight to keep it back.
Not for myself, but for others to live in the light.
And for the memory of loved ones.
link4 comments|post comment

The road back [Jun. 26th, 2004|07:14 pm]
I stalk around the gathering.
My Boss has changed I no longer serve Q.
Now I work for Van der Voort.
Either of them would kill the people I am going to see.
Micha and Enzo have come to DC.

I tried to get Enzo to talk some sense into her. Then she asked for the Malkavians to be sent to her each of them seeking her as part of their shared vision. I sent them there and Enzo acts as her Guardian.

I meet Enzo and we enter the room. His accent is gone he speaks clearly now. And he obviously is in love. I am glad for him.

A Malkavian leaps up knives in hand.
"Put 'em down boy. They wouldn't help ya, and it wouldn't slow me down." I walk forward and see Ivanna crying in front of Micha. They are in prayer. Micha finishes and we speak. I try to convince her to leave here. She won't she will not run.

I take Enzo to the side. I tell him if anything comes through that door I will give him as much time as he needs to get Micha and him outta here. I know he will do it.

In part I want to make sure that Micha survives so she can continue to spread her word. A bigger part is I am hoping Enzo and Micha can have the peace and happiness that fate denied Tess and Fynn, and Emily and myself.

The night continues I keep waiting for the end to come.
The door opens and I think it is here.
Invited in by Micha who will allow any inside.
In walks Claudius childer of the Ventrue Justicar Hardenstat.
I brace for the combat.
"I assume this Lady is well protected?" Claudius asks.
I smile mixing charm with menace. "Very well protected"

Claudius joins and I watch him as the night progresses.
Micha tends to her flock. Transformations happen.
I feel her faith radiate from her.
Much like I felt when I tried to enter the Vatican.
She begins to have stigmata. The marks of Christ.

Then like a wave it washes over the room.
I can see it on everyones faces.
I can see the changes in some even Claudius.
I feel the rush of lost innocence.
A feeling that yes there is love in the world
There is hope and goodness and there is a chance for redemption.

I stay near dawn.I thank Micha. I let her know that it seems she is safe and if she needs me to call. I hope her and Enzo will find the happiness they deserve. On last call tonight.

To find Koval to see if I can find redemption for Tess.
I have found it for myself.
I hope I can stay on the road back.
linkpost comment

Changes in attitude [Jun. 21st, 2004|10:56 pm]
I knew Justicar Quasimoto was many things.
I did not know he was a moron.
He killed a Assamite on Elysium. And bloodhunted the CLAN.
Then Justicar Karl Van der Voort claimed all Brujah Archons as his own.
And Q disappeared. Like I needed this extra drama.

Now Van der Voort is lecturing me on chainmail and sunglasses.
Like I wear this fucking get up when I go out to hunt on a normal basis.
Awesome. From our short conversation this guy is insane. Then things get interesting.

The rant. Brujah all of us. Camarilla, Anarch, Independent. A clan together.
A woman dominates the center of the room. She tells of our Justicar being Giovanni.
Now Dolla Bill tears up the Convention of Thorns. And Van der Voort leaves.

Next comes the story of Carthage.
Of how this woman who's presence dominates the room is named Anis.
Anis speaks of her brood mate Troile who slew Brujah and drank his heartsblood.
Of how she has watched over us and protected us.
How she now feels we should leave the Camarilla as did the Gangrel.
How the Camarilla had been founded in pure roots, but had become corrupt.
How we should start again, start new.

But she fails to say how we will start.
What we shall build with.
Where this utopia will arise.
Who shall run this new enterprise.
When we will know it has succeeded.
and most importantly why we cannot work within the Camarilla to FIX it.
To bring back the pure roots and destroy the corruption that festers within it.

Plus when someone tries to sell you something that seems to good to be true.
It is.

Seneca speaks I am not listening closely to his words.
He does not believe we should walk away from the Camarilla.
We should make our own choices.
We should walk the path we believe in as we are Brujah.

The time for choice has come.
I leave the room.
I leave those who would run from the problems behind.

As I exit I feel the anger, the lack of self control inherent to my blood fade away.
It is as if God has reached down and eased my temper that was heightened by the clan that embraced me.
I feel more like Eric than I have in years.
linkpost comment

Goodbyes [Jun. 20th, 2004|06:06 pm]
I enter the night with my fellow Archons.
It is not long before I feel myself drawn away, they follow and I
find myself seeing Petronis. He tells me again of Tess' death and who was responsible.

"I am a servant of the Justicariate and the Camarilla. I have no time for vengeance. If the Prince calls a bloodhunt I will obey the laws if the Camarilla."

The words spill out of my mouth.
They have been my mantra throughout the night. It will be the prevalent thought in my head for my fellow Archons if they decide to see what I am thinking. I would hope that they don't delve deeper. The anger I feel swell within me is palatable.
I want to tell Petronis where are they let me kill them.
But I know what will happen if I do.

"Be at the gathering tonight then, You will enjoy Prince Cross' words." Petronis smiles and we part ways.

Later in the night I see her. She is supposed to be dead. Tess my adopted little sister, somehow back from the dead.

I want proof. I ask what is my name? "Eric Riggs, your wife name is Emily, you used to wear her ring around your neck on a chain.."
It is enough it is Tess.

"That is not Tess Parker" booms McLauren. He is being a prick and testing my patience. He left me in Bangor to fight off Elders on my own.

"McLauren it is Tess. This is your chance to say goodbye. Stop being a prick." I mutter trying to control my emotions as best I can. He stares at me for a second. Wisely he does not try to rebuff me. My patience is at an end with these fucking facades.

Later in the night I make my way to her. We talk. She is afraid she will go to be fed to a demon or to oblivion. I can not allow this. She is supposed to go to Fynn.

We talk more. She speaks of always believing in me. I wipe a tear from her eye. It is in these moments I still see the little red headed Tremere I vowed to take care of. The one who stood by me for all those years. Innocent, curious, always a doomsayer, but always right beside me.

I feel the tears well up inside me.
I want to cry.
I want to scream.
I want vengeance.
I want to reverse time.
I can do none of this. But I can try to save her soul.

I plan, I make deals, I find Koval. He has a sword. It will hurt me, but I can wield it against the demon. Fine. It's a long shot. I tell Tess. She seems to think that her clan will have some idea what to do. If not we will go with my plan. It may not work and I will probably die. But I will take that chance in order save her soul.

I hug her.
I tell her goodbye and that I love her.
Somehow it feels like the last time I will ever see her.
At least I got to tell her goodbye.
At least I know we always believed in one and other.
And I still believe in friends.
link3 comments|post comment

Hard Facts [Jun. 18th, 2004|10:51 pm]
I enter the room lined with fellow Archons.
Creed, Faolen, Athena, Seneca, Aiyslin.
There is Q, cold and distant as he has become recently.

We talk about the plans for tonight. Staying together traveling with each other in case of attack. It washes over me my mind is elsewhere.

I finally bring it up. Tess Parker was killed last night.
The room bristles looking at me.
"And what do you plan to do Rage?" it is Q's voice cold, distant.

"I want to kill the fucks responsible" I feel the beast stir within me near the surface he wants out he wants his bloody vengeance.

"And why should we do that? I suggest you have a good explanation." Q again the former aged kindness in his voice is gone. Cold steel with a hint of menace is all that remains. The beast growls and ravages. I silence him. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. If I don't answer this sufficiently I am dead. Tess will not be avenged.

"Because she was a Prince in the Camarilla your Grace. She was more than that she was a symbol. Whenever the Tower faltered in the Northeast she was there to prop it and up support it. Without her the Northeast may not be. If she can be killed and we do not take action what does that say for the safety of anyone in the Camarilla?"

It is a good speech and the truth. It probably saved my life.

"They broke the sixth Tradition." states Aiyslin.

"Then if the Prince bloodhunts them they will be dealt with. But we do not exercise vengeance Rage. If I hear that you have I will see to it that you are destroyed. And it will be one of the faces in this room." Q, the Justicar, my Boss continues all the life and kindness now devoid. "We are not friends. No one in this room is. Remember that. We are predators. What happens when a lion in a pride is wounded?"

"I understand Your Grace. I will be true to my vow." I know it is how I have to answer. One way or another I will get who is responsible bloodhunted. Then they are fair game.

He dispatches us to the night. I make plans with Seneca to meet later at the Brujah rant. These are my fellow Archons. Not my friends. I must remember that. I must remember the game I now play.

I wanted to make the Camarilla better. I wanted to help make it what it COULD be. A true shepard of humanity. A bastion to protect the weak. I can only do that on the small scale in the world that surrounds me. I can protect my friends here, and help to protect the weak.

But I must remember I am in the Lion's Den.
And here I have no friends.
link6 comments|post comment

Infiltrator [Jun. 15th, 2004|12:18 pm]
Q gathered us together, and gave us the plan. We would go to the gathering tonight, but not as ourselves. We would listen and learn and if caught die without help. McLauren would be bait. Great awesome, because I am SUCH the infiltrator. Stealth is my hallmark.

I walk the streets of DC some call out my name, The disguise is too close. I feel myself fall into my patented walk, like that of a stalking bulldog, and I force myself to stand upright and walk differently. I still chew on the gum I forgot to remove it. Will getting rid of it spark more curiosity?

I see McLauren, Tess and Cleric. I act obnoxious and loud to try and gain the notice of the anarchs. I observe I see "Dollar Bill" back down to a man in a suit. This is my opening. I go up and start talking. He tells his philosophy. I find some respect for this anarch.

I return to my room. It has been a successful night. I was not discovered. I gained information. My cellphone blinks with messages.

"Rage this is Enzo....we are in DC. Contact me." I can't believe that they would come here. I can only protect them so much. I am only one man. I hope I can convince them to leave, to go to safety.

"Rage this is Cleric. Tess is dead." There might have been more words I don't know. The phone slides from my hands and hits the ground. The anger builds in me I feel the beast clawing to the surface.

Then it subsides as I fall to my knees.

I failed. I wasn't there. Again. I could have stopped it.

I feel the tears stream down my face. Powerless again. Like with Emily and Morpheus and Fynn and Vincent and so many others.

I failed. I wasn't there. Again. I could have stopped it.

And I never got to say goodbye.

Sis' I love you. I'm sorry.
link3 comments|post comment

Past, present, future? [Jun. 8th, 2004|11:31 pm]
Memories. Some haunt, some provide strength, others insight.

Little Jimmy, smallest kid in the class. Poorest kid in school. Just had a birthday and was psyched to get to buy some ice cream after school.

Big George class bully general thug. Knows the Jimmy just had a B-day and has money today. He goes over and pushes him down, telling him he is going to take the money. Jimmy is upset. He is small and weak and knows one way or another he isn't gonna get his ice cream.

I walk over as Jimmy is going into his pocket.
"Stop picking on him George. Keep your money Jimmy"

Big George sneers "What are you gonna do? You think you can stop me?"
Big George rears his hand back ready to punch me.
Next thing he knows he is on his butt bleeding from the nose and crying.
Jimmy looks to give me the cash I refuse.
"No your gonna get your ice creme tonight Jimmy"

The teachers come over and next I know I am in my Father's study.
"I am VERY disappointed in you Eric. Violence does not solve ANYTHING."
"But Dad he...."I try feebly knowing it won't work.
"Eric how many times do I have to tell you. Fighting is not the answer. There are other solutions"
I stew upset. Sometimes all people understand is violence.
No one wants to fight but somebody has to know how.

The argument is the same and it repeats through out the years. Even up until I joined the Marines to try and stop people from dying, the CIA, the police. I suppose Dad always wanted me to be the Doctor he was.

It is what I am reminded of as I sit with Alejandro Deluscuro and Lana DeWinter. Both of whom almost look human. It has been years since I have seen Alejandro look this good. That alone sends my mood soaring.

We speak of several topics God, Golcanda, the Camarilla. My place, my position, what I can do, should do to save myself. What I don't know if I will ever be able to do.

I have tried to walk away so many times. And death follows in my wake. The Sabbat gets more aggressive, hunters, anarchs. I leave and the Big George's of the world come to prey on the weak. How do I walk away? How do I leave the sheep to the wolves? Others will take my place if I fall, but what if I walk away?

Forgiveness. Another topic. Of myself for Emily, my unborn child. My eyes glaze with blood as I think of it still. If I had been faster, stronger, smarter. I was unable to save her. To save our son. To save our life. God kept me around though. For a reason, that is all I can think to protect those I can.

Never are answers given just more questions. Alejandro playing the role of my Father. Trying to set me on the path to salvation. Lana voicing her concerns her reasons her persuasive logic mixed with her passionate beliefs.

Will I listen this time? Is this the path for me? Or has God set me here to protect the weak to trade my soul for that and perhaps be forgiven at the gates or to gaze in and never see them again Emily and my son.

God give me answers.

Faith and Hope- Alejandro's words ring in my ears.
I keep them both close.
linkpost comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]

Advertisement